Saturday, March 21, 2009
Finding Goatie
I was as usual cleaning. Trying to make more space for more junk to be accumulated. Anton came up to me and we were just there in the room deciding which things we would bring when we move out and which things we would leave behind. He goes to his toys and sees "Goatie". Goatie is a stuffed animal that Bon won for Anton when we went to Star City. For some time, Anton brought Goatie along with him wherever he went. He would not be able to sleep without Goatie at his side.
Going back to today, I kept on fixing things and I was surprised when I heard Antonio sniffling. I asked him if he was crying and he said yes. I asked him, "Why? Do you miss your Dad?" He nods and tears started streaming down. So I asked him to come sit on my lap. I gave him a hug and told him, "It's God's Will, Anton." (To give you a brief background, Anton's father is Cpt. Bonifacio L. Soriano. He is a pilot of the Philippine Air Force. He has been missing since November 26, 2007. No aircraft wreckage or remains have been found to this date.) And Anton starts sobbing heart wrenching sobs.
I asked him, "What do you remember about your Dad?"
He cries even harder, "Nothing..."
"Do you want to remember your Dad?"
He nods and I tell him to stay in the room I just need to get some things.
I run over to my room and retrieve the photos that I've set aside. (I'm rebuilding Antonio's scrapbook which was eaten away by some kind of insect.) Anton followed me to my room and so we lie down on the bed and go through his pictures.
His baptism. (Bon spent for Anton's Baptism, since we weren't Catholic at that time) His first birthday. The times that we went to Glorietta to take Anton out. The times that Bon visited Anton here at home. His fifth birthday.
Anton had a lot of questions. Why was his Dad doing that in the picture? Who blew the cake for him? Where was his Dad on his third birthday? I explained to him that his Dad was able to visit him more often during his first two years because Bon was stationed at Villamor Air Base, and it became more difficult for his Dad to visit him when he was assigned in Palawan and in Clark. He's a fighter pilot. He's very busy making sure that our country is a safe place.
No matter how hard I hugged him. I couldn't console him. The only thing that I could tell him was that we should pray. I asked him to pray that Bon may be found. (I stopped there. I couldn't say ".. found alive." I don't want to give my son any false hopes that Bon is still out there... But I also could not tell Anton to pray that Bon's remains may be found)
Exhausted, he was finally able to sleep.
My son's love for his father, pure unadulterated love. He doesn't talk about his Dad very often but this I know, my son loves his father. and in my heart, in spite of his shortcomings and our differences, I know that Bon loves Anton.
** the picture above is of Anton, Goatie and Bon, with Lola Let in the background.
# posted by plumgirl @ 10:30 AM 
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
Post a Comment