pLÜmGirL - work in progress

I've attended two weddings this year. Being there, made me think about a lot of things. Where am I in life? What have I achieved? What do I plan to do? Where am I going? Am I happy? But because I was recently at two weddings, the question that stands out is: Do I want to get married? That's a tough question to answer. But there's really no right or wrong answers, right?

So let's see...
Do I want to get married? I know people who have grown up in broken but intact families. The husband and the wife are together in the same house, sleep in the same bed, use the same bathroom, have sex, but the love just isn't there. You see them there, but you feel and know that their hearts just aren't there. Sure, they love their children. They have a certain degree of affection, or liking for their spouses, if they didn't they would not be there. OR maybe they gotten so used to the situation that they can actually stand it, and have accepted their faith.

Do I want to get married? I know Men who have wives, whom they say they love. And yet... they cheat on their wives. They have special women in their lives whom they care about. But isn't cheating still cheating? Infidelity is still infidelity, wherever you go and whatever you do, it's still that. Do I want to get married and be the wife who doesn't have a clue that the husband they love so much and who they believes would give them the moon and the stars can actually cheat on them?

Do I want to get married? Knowing who I am and how I am, do I want to subject anyone to spending the rest of their life with me? I have my family, I have an 8 year old son, and a lot of baggage.

I started out this blog with the intention of sort of planning my wedding. Sort of... there's no groom. But as I was writing the paragraphs above... it made me kinda think... Do I really want to get married?

I think I do want to get married but there's an IFF attached.

I will get married IF and ONLY IF I'm marrying the right man for me...
(this'll be another blog entry...)

(NEXT BLOG -- Planning My Wedding)